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There are many ways we all inevitably experience loss, and the depth and breadth of that loss depend on the situation. When you’re dealing with a breakup, the last thing on your mind is your home. But when the time comes, there are actions you can take to move forward.
For most of us, the pain of a breakup—whether it involves moving out, kicking someone out, or adjusting to a new reality—is incredibly difficult. Your space can play a huge role in your healing process. Here’s how to tackle reclaiming your home after a breakup.
Watch the full video on YouTube.
If You Didn’t Live Together
Even if you didn’t share a home, there may still be signs of the relationship in your space. What you do next depends on how things ended. Let's go over a few scenarios.
If Things Ended Amicably
1. Collect their belongings and ask them to do the same at their place.
2. Take a photo of their items and confirm they’ve got everything (except your love for them).
3. Arrange a trade date, exchange items, and shake hands.
4. Refresh your space:
• Change your sheets.
• Clean your entire home.
• Light a candle or sage the space if it helps you mentally reset.
If Things Ended Badly:
Let’s just say you’re no longer following each other on Instagram. The good news? You didn’t live together, but it’s important to clear out those bad vibes fast!
1. Collect their items and ask a neutral third party to deliver them if you want to keep things civil.
2. Feeling a bit dramatic? Safely burn or trash what you want to let go of (just keep it off social media).
3. Wash your sheets thoroughly—it’s amazing what fresh bedding can do.
4. Rearrange or refresh your space. Move furniture, add new decor, or remove anything that’s too triggering.
If You Do Live Together and You’re Moving Out:
Deciding to leave the space is a brave choice—and a big step toward a fresh start. Here’s how to make it easier:
Before the Move:
1. Find a new place ASAP:
• Options include renting a room, staying with a friend or family, or finding your dream apartment.
2. Start packing 1-2 weeks before your move date:
• Avoid living out of boxes longer than necessary.
3. Decide what to take:
• Communicate about shared items (e.g., couches, TVs, appliances).
• Take only what you need and leave behind items you no longer want.
After the Move:
1. Prioritize your bedroom:
• Set up your bed first—it impacts how you rest and recharge.
• Pro tip: Center your bed on the largest wall for an optimal layout.
2. Locate essentials like toiletries:
• Find your toothbrush, towels, and other basics to freshen up.
3. Unpack gradually:
• Focus on putting things in their temporary or permanent spots.
• Perfection isn’t the goal—adjustments can come later.
If You Lived Together and They’re Moving Out:
This scenario is tricky, but with clear boundaries, you can reclaim your space effectively.
1. Set a move-out date:
• Be flexible if things shift, but stay firm when necessary.
2. Discuss shared items:
• Focus on compromise and communicate about who gets what.
• Example: If they want the air fryer, let them have it—but keep what matters most to you.
3. Be present during their move-out:
• Ensure they don’t take anything important.
• Ask a trusted friend to stay with you if you’re worried about boundaries.
4. Inspect the space once they’ve left:
• Double-check for items you don’t want to deal with later.
5. Celebrate reclaiming your space:
• Order pizza or pour a glass of wine—it’s a big milestone.
6. Clean thoroughly:
• Wash sheets, clean bathrooms, and refresh every corner of the home to remove their presence.
Room-by-Room Reset
Depending on how things ended, your space might feel either empty or incredibly freeing. Either way, start with these steps to make it feel like you again:
1. Bedroom: Your Sanctuary
• Focus on making your bed the center of comfort.
• Add new linens, pillows, or decor that reflects your personality.
2. Bathroom: Your Self-Care Zone
• Spread out your toiletries and treat yourself to an upgrade, like plush towels or a fancy soap.
3. Living Spaces: Fresh Energy
• Rearrange furniture for a new flow.
• Consider adding new decor or removing anything tied to the relationship.
4. Whole Home:
• Deep clean the entire space, including the car (if necessary).
Final Thoughts
Breakups can be painful, but reclaiming your space is a powerful step in moving forward. Start small—clean, declutter, and refresh. Your home should reflect your energy and vision for the future.
If you’re looking for more tips, grab our “Fix the Icks” Guides for step-by-step advice to tackle lingering challenges in your home.
